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Saturday, May 4th, 2002
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5:44 pm
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| Thursday, March 28th, 2002
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11:05 am
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Last night I dreamt of the Grim Reaper with bunny ears.
I woke up with that image in my head and the whole day has been pervaded with a sense of foreboding.
I have consumed approximately a dozen tiny chocolate easter eggs, and I just heard the boss ordering hot cross buns. Looks like I could have spent my lunch money on a taxi fare this morning as I won't be needing lunch. The taxi I spotted was sitting in a secluded spot on my street and the driver appeared to be asleep, so I took that as a sign from god that I should catch the bus and save my money.
My new job is becoming comfortable. This is my fourth week. I like the atmosphere. I like what I do. I don't know how long it'll last though.
Good lord. I"m stuffed with hot cross buns now as well. urgh. Think I really will be skipping lunch..
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| Monday, February 25th, 2002
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4:48 pm
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Today's expenses:
$ 7.20 taxi fare to job place
$ 4.00 two sushi rolls
$10.20 coffee + 3 sticky cakes
Total of $21.40 spent due to disorganisation/frivolity...hmm...
Consided renaming the site DOLL BLUDGER, however this would be largely a waste of time if I end up signing the contract on thursday wouldn't it?
Bewildered neighbours keep staring at me as I potter around in my front garden bopping along to MC Hammer who is on permanent loop play on my stereo at full volume :D
How much washing powder is too much? Am going to try and ascertain the exact amount of washing powder required so that your clothes actually smell nice when they come out of the machine. Think I will start on 4 scoops. Hopefully my clothes will not disintegrate...
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1:58 pm
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"Yo, let me bust the funky lyrics
U can't touch this..."
MC Hammer was one cool dude. I say this with no sarcasm whatsoever. I just downloaded 'U Can't Touch This' and I really do not understand why they don't play that song on the radio more often...
current mood:  silly
current music: hmmmmmmmm
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1:42 pm
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I should be excited. Somebody just offered me a job. Ever get the feeling you should be a whole lot more excited than you are? Ever tried to behave as though you were excited when you really aren't at all? These situations tend to be highly amusing when you are not in them, and positively hideous when you are.
Possibly I have come to the right place to solve my problems though. I am at the jobsearch training place and I keep overhearing conversations between chronically unemployed people and job agency staff trying to get them a job.
Agency person: So you've been unemployed for...10 months?
Jobseeker: Yep
Agency person: And you've come on this jobsearch training before?
Jobseeker: Yeah I've done it twice already.
Agency person: riiiighhhtt...
Good lord. I would die if I had to come here ever again. I mean the internet access is great. I'm so glad unemployed people don't know how to use the internet as it means the computers are always free!! I am something of a freak around here, having a degree and all...
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| Sunday, February 24th, 2002
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3:06 am
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There's not much space in my room...
Really need to do something about that soon-to-be-sentient laundry pile tomorrrow...
current mood:  sleepy
current music: Air - New star in the sky
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| Friday, February 22nd, 2002
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4:27 pm
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Today is just bloody awful. And don't anybody try and tell me it's all in my head.
I have tried the positive self-talk
I have tried responding with bright and chipper statements when asked questions about my wellbeing
I have tried listening to the cheesy happy pop radio station
I have tried doing good deeds for random strangers in the hope the 'joy of giving' would illuminate my life
Has anybody considered that if you keep doing all this 'positive reinforcement' rubbish, and it keeps failing,and you continue to feel completely ratshit, all these things will eventually start to take on negative qualities and all you are really doing is ruining your so-called 'hard wired' associations, so that you now associate happy things with misery and failure??
hmmmm...convoluted I know...somebody point out the obvious flaw in that argument, I know there is one..
Well, I'm afraid there's just nothing for it but to go and get drunk. It is friday after all. The Fringe festival starts tonight, I'm going out on the town to pick up a young artistic type who's guaranteed to be more miserable than I am :D
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4:11 pm
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12:41 am
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| Thursday, February 21st, 2002
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8:32 pm
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OK, so I'm a bit of a Label Queen. I read Vogue Italia. I drool at the $15,000 Prada handbags in duty free at the airport. I could probably name a designer starting with every letter of the alphabet. Yes, the whole industry is laughable, I appreciate that, but I love it all the same.
It is with much consternation then, that I witness the slow and lumbering steps of the fashion industry into the world of online advertising (and I hazard to guess this has nothing to do with those tiny stilettos they all wear).
Hello? How long has the internet been 'mainstream'? I would say at least long enough to replace those "Coming Soon" banners with something slightly more useful. Yet we continue to see an utterly woeful internet presence from the likes of
Prada ( 'Opening Soon'? Three chicks lounging around on a tiled floor, one in a furry siberian hat?? maybe these chicks are responsible for designing the website? that might explain a thing or two..)
Armani ( "The attempt to load URL failed". Tut tut)
Versace ( an arduous timeout)
and
Fendi ( servizio temporaneamente sospeso per manutenzione ?? umm... yeh, whatever)
Interestingly enough, some of the other labels seem to have gone completely the other way and created (or presumably, paid someone else to create) glorious and elaborate websites endowed with mega-pixel graphics and Flash-spectacles extraordinaire...which, of course, either crash the user's computer or take so long to load they are never seen.
Take a look at Gucci. I waited several minutes for this Flash thingy to start and eventually gave up. I am only on 48K but surely there is some web design rule about catering for the lowest common denominator??
I fail to comprehend this bizarre situation. Surely these people cannot be short of cash; I have seen what they charge for their merchandise, and nobody is pulling the wool over my eyes, angora or otherwise. Surely the people who run these places cannot be so stupid that they are unable to find a half-decent web design company. I shudder to think how much they paid for their 'Coming Soon' splash pages.
I am half-tempted to call them up and offer my services...
current mood:  amused
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2:40 pm
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I truly had forgotten the joys of Dr Seuss.
Many thanks to Michael for reminding me! Think I will head on down to the kiddies section of the library and get me some of the Doc's infinite wisdom...
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| Wednesday, February 20th, 2002
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11:19 pm
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Job hunting has reached new lows. I've just found the perfect job on seek, and when I type in the URL of the 'company' it fails, and all the contact emails come back undelivered. Wonderful.
Either I am destined to work for dodgy companies, or I am seriously pissing off the universe in a way that is causing it to send me all these, shall we say, severely unsatisfactory situations. What on earth did I get up to in my past life to deserve them, I wonder.
Hmph.
current mood:  irritated
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10:40 pm
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Gee I miss my doggy...
:-(
My sister has just predicted we'll both become obese because we can't bear to go for walks without bessie... I am dearly hoping she's wrong, but I won't even walk to the shop because I'll see the spot where I used to tie her up, and I don't trust myself not to turn into a jibbering hysterical mess...
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8:20 pm
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Drive by shootings will soon be happening at all Adelaide job agencies if I get rung up one more time about a job that has 'senior' in the title. Why do they not understand that I am not 'senior' in any sense of the word????
guess they are just trying to help...
(actually that is crap; I'm sure they are just trying to get paid)
Rearranged the house so I would forget where bessie used to sit and wag her tail at me. Not sure what to do about all the leftover dog food. Am apprehensive about offering it to someone in the neighbourhood as they are all quite yuppified around here and probably only feed their dogs those little My Dog gourmet tins. There should be a pet-equivalent of the Salvation army.
In fact I have always believed there should be a cosmetics equivalent of St Vincent de Pauls, ie. Giant bins where you can put all those shampoos that you used once and were allergic to, the moisturizers that made your face resemble an oil slick within 2 hours (or alternatively, like the great sandy desert), the zillions of nail polishes that turned out to be a completely different colour to what the bottle indicated, lipsticks that made you look like a whore, foundation that was completely the wrong shade...basically any cosmetic bought in haste, ignorance or under bitchy-Clarins-woman pressure. I don't see why all this stuff shouldn't be recycled, particularly when it's all so expensive.
Speaking of being ripped off, I have discovered what appears from a distance to be a non-dodgy cheap hairdresser. These people are rare as hen's teeth and I have been in despair for weeks over the $45 I seem destined to spend on a haircut, not to mention the extra $60 or so I will surely be convinced by the pushy hairdresser to spend on foils, streaks, etc. I am sick of having to psyche myself into assertive mode everytime I go to the hairdresser. It truly bothers me. Maybe I will gun them down as well as the job agencies...
current mood: evil
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| Tuesday, February 19th, 2002
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11:50 pm
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How long does it take to really say goodbye? Are you ever sure you've said everything?
My doggy got injected with lethal stuff today. I don't know how far away doggy heaven is, but she must be there by now. I can imagine her with little wings.
Got me thinking about grief and how different people deal with it. How men/women deal with it differently. How some people shut down and others open up. How it can start off as a dull bleakness and escalate to full-blown hysteria, or the other way around, or just meander along as a dull ache. So many ways. No right one.
3 things I won't forget:
watching her fluffy brown body finally relax into motionless exhaustion;
how peaceful she looked on the kitchen floor while I played the Schumann Arabeske;
my dad arranging her paws in the big hole he'd dug in the garden.
The house is so empty.
I better stop before I start to bawl again.
current mood:  sad
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| Monday, February 18th, 2002
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8:29 pm
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Australia winning gold at the Winter Olympics and the complete silliness of the situation has made my day. I have been shuttling my poor sick doggy backwards and forwards to the vet all day and it has been rather an ordeal. I was in desperate need of some light relief when I saw it on the front page of the paper. I think Matt said it best: is there any more Australian way to win a Winter Olympic gold medal than waiting for everyone else to fall over?
A strange proposition came my way today. A friend of mine is trying to get me to join an Amway-style ecommerce type thing. Apparently you do all your grocery shopping online and recruit people and the more people you recruit the bigger bonus you get. Frankly I think the whole thing is dodgy and fortunately I managed to weasel my way out of sitting through the 1.5 hour seminar I promised I'd go to on it.
For a start, they only deliver 4 times a month; what the hell use is that??!?! If I need toothpaste, it is likely that I have cut open the old tube with a scissors and scraped every last drop of toothpaste out of it, ie. I NEED TOOTHPASTE IMMEDIATELY, or I will resort to washing out my mouth with hot chilli sauce (apparently nothing survives that)(incidentally, this was Swampy's suggestion).
Oh the agony of telling someone to sod off without effectively bulldozing the friendship...
current mood:  anxious
current music: gatecrasher red - vision control (?i think)
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| Saturday, February 16th, 2002
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7:40 pm
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Wots all the fuss about? ...I must confess that all too often I am just completely bored with the internet. I know it is probably a crime against humanity to say that (well, do the techo computery nerdy types who set up the internet count as humanity? are they even human?) but look, sometimes I just sit here staring at that flashing Google cursor greedily awaiting the contents of my brain, thinking Hmmmm....No, I can't think of a single bloody thing I want to know about.
I can't think of a language I want to learn.
I am not interested in the world news.
I have every piece of music I currently desire already on my hard drive.
I don't want to buy any shares, books, cds, or penis-enlargement kits for that matter.
So I ask you, how is it possible to have the entire world's knowledge and resources at your fingertips and just not give a toss and rather go eat spicy corn chips? or sit in front of the telly? or clip your toenails?
A few people have suggested this is not unusual at all, that it often happens to them. Having heard this, I was consoled for about 3 seconds until I realised these people all but slept (in fact, some of them do sleep) in front of their computer screens, which led me to the disturbing conclusion that perhaps being bored with the Internet is the first sign that I am becoming one of these people. *shiver*
Others have obliquely suggested that "Only Boring People Get Bored". These, incidentally, are the same people who respond to my shrieks of horror over moving out a belt notch with "Well, you know maybe you should try exercising more and eating less". Yes. Thankyou. Thankyou so much. To think weight loss was so easy.
I will not bore you with my attempts at alleviating my boredom in the chatrooms. That is truly a can of worms. Let's just say the phrase 'You people need lives' is not a particularly good opening line...
So the boredom continues. At least there are lovely things like blogs and livejournals in which to vent one's frustrations. What on earth would we do without them. But then, that gets boring too after a while doesn't it? Ok, I'll stop now...
current mood:  thoughtful
current music: Fleetwood Mac (yes, daggy, I know..)
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6:15 pm
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Pet woes again. My doggy has some sort of dog equivalent of haemophilia. Basically her blood doesn't clot and they put her on horrendous amount of cortizone, which is unfortunately affecting her pancreas and doing all sorts of other nasty things so now she's on antibiotics and less cortizone. We had to leave her in the pet hospital to be monitored.
People often say that pets are good practise for child-rearing. I think there is considerable truth in this statement. Neither pets nor children are really able to understand why you are doing apparently nasty things to them, ie. making them finish their dinner, not letting them go certain places, etc. You just have to do it. (At least kids might thank you for it later)
Walking out of the pet hospital today, with Bessie's woeful barking emanating from the next room, I thought, 'This must be what it's like the day you leave your kid at school on their first day!'. I've read that you're just supposed to be firm and leave them there, even if they cry. I tried explaining to Bessie but she didn't seem to understand. Just kept staring at me with those confused doggy eyes.
Argh...I am nowhere near ready for child-rearing!
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| Friday, February 15th, 2002
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2:44 pm
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| Thursday, February 14th, 2002
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3:35 pm
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Found that quote....
"Being single is best, but everyone wants to fall in love"
Andy Warhol, 'love, love, love'
awwww... this is a cool post...
current mood: pleased
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